A story about transitioning into knowingness and celebrating menopause
"What!? But are you absolutely sure?"
My women's health doctor looked at me kindly and said it is absolutely clear. She leaned forward towards me and continued:
"Dear, baby girls come into this world with a fixed number of egg cells and when they're out, they're out".
This was couple of years ago, I was 45 years old and in disbelief. I felt that I was too young. The "what if's" about giving birth to a biological child all rushed to the surface and felt a great sadness. And also relief. Simultaneously, many things about my own feelings and sometimes irrational behaviour during recent years felt into place. I can say, I really understood myself.
Especially I understood the gradual loss of self-confidence, which had been a hard nut to crack, but I can see this now as a part of the transitioning process. Going through the menopause is in deed a rebirth process.
You've got to reinvent yourself and as the old things that you build your self confidence on disappears, or you outgrow them, so does the belief in oneself. But as you let go and surrender to it all, you'll find yourself in your core, in the heart. A warm welcoming place, yet a place where you'll be (re)introduced to all the past hurts and mistakes. By practicing self love we become whole.
Transitioning
Big wheels turn slowly, and steadily.
We shouldn't pick the fruits until they are ripe, meaning we need to be patient with our own growth process. When the apple is ripe, it will fall off the branch by itself, landing on the Earth, ready to give new life.
Last year I felt urgent need to take time off social media. I felt it was addictive and not serving my wellbeing. But what really laid behind the decision, I see now, was my need to transition into knowingness, in peace. I needed to take my time to be reborn. Into the one I knew I was on a deeper level.
Perhaps this is a lifelong process, to get closer to who you really are, the light within, and to allow that light to shine purely and brightly.
Menopause is a process of transitioning from a "need to be pretty in order to get a man to secure the possibility to bring children to the world" to a "I can now allow my true voice to become audible for the whole world, regardless if others like it or not".
Of course the above description is a bit of exaggeration, but I do claim it holds some truth in it!
We outgrow ourselves and need to give ourselves time to reinvent ourselves, to find out what is true for us, and what no longer resonates within. Especially on social media, it's easy to try to paint a picture perfect vision of who you believe you need to be, in order to get liked and loved.
A more wholesome inner dialogue
In the Transition you want to get to know the real you. Who are you beyond that need to fit in to your own ideas of what you believe others want from you?
The voice of the ego will become clear and you can simultaneously more easily discern it.
"Why on earth did you write that kind of comment to that person, he's never wanna talk to you again, you moron".... and similar kind of thoughts that the ego might suggest to you.
And You will answer your ego:
"Thank you for your concern, dear, but I've got this, I will now speak more openly and freely from my heart and you'll just have to get use to it." And so the ego get's use to it and you become more free.
A great practice is to build a more supportive inner dialgue. For instance, I've been looking into my own eyes in the mirror, saying how beautiful I am, how much I love myself. Try it! What a beautiful moment when you actually believe yourself.
Self love is a necessity
On the recent pilgrimage to Peru, I had the chance to sit a long bus ride with my teacher Puma Quispe Singona. I told him the story of a realisation I had on that same journy, that due to lack of wholesome self love I did some bad choices earlier in life. He held my hand, listened, and reassured "That's over now". And I knew he was right. I had found a new sense of self love. He guided me to take three deep breaths and in a few seconds some pain of the past had changed into lightness and relief.
However, there is always more love to share within and without. There's still a lot to learn about love unconditional love.
"Why am I here?" - finding the answer with the help of Andean cosmovision
We all have our own areas of interest and only God knows all the subtle ways our life proceeds in exactly the way it does.
Why do we get interested in something?
I believe some deeper areas of interest is alerady blueprinted in the soul. It is no coincidence you're drawn into spirituatliy - or any other area for that matter. You came here to earth to explore exactly that!
In 2019 I took my first course in shamanism in Finland. In 2020 I found my teacher Puma Quispe Singona, a powerful peruvian maestro, medicine man and spiritual leader, and I've studied with maestro Puma online since that. Studies in Andean cosmovision has enabled me to go deeper into the soul searching and understanding our very existence here on Earth. It helps me find words to what's within, in a very beautiful way. I do not think it is a coincidence it comes to me during my years of menopause, of Transitioning into knowingness.
Deep inside you know what you're soul longs for.
I always had the urge to understand this world with the help of wisdom from lineages that are ancient.
I felt I found home when I started learning about the andean cosmovision through Puma Quispe Singona, and his team of powerful medicine men and women. What they are teaching has been handed over orally from one person to the next, since a very long time, and I feel the ancient teachings to be absolutely true - for me.
Maestro Puma says:
"Always listen to yourself, first and last."
Which in this context would mean, to learn from sources that resonates with You. And to keep your sovereignity and integrity by feeling into what's true for you - or not.
Your intuition will guide you. Honour your inner knowingness.
No doubts!
Why do I call the years of menopause "Transitioning into knowingness"?
Because it is the time when we need to let go of self doubt and to own our knowingness.
Certainly you don't need to wait until then, and men have their own transitions, but main point is to stand up and be You, gracefully with love.
It is the time to stand up and let ourselves be heard and seen. Not because we would be celebreated as pretty (however not ruling that out😉), but because we have something to say, and this something comes from the knowingness in the heart!
So, with all this being said, I've decided to get back into social media. Because I feel I have a lot to share, and it is my soul mission to share about spirituality, in my own words, from my heart to Yours. Now one year of no social media has been refreshening and I warmly recommend it.
Transitions throughout life
Menopause isn't the only big transition in life. We can make meaningful transitions throughtout life. From one phase to the other. Going through teenage years, changes in relationships, celebrating new life in all it's forms, allowing grief when something ends, changing jobs, saying goodbye and welcoming a new home. Letting go, surrendering and starting again.
Every day we are reborn, we see the sun go up, and open up to endless new possibilities. And when the sun goes down, we give thanks and hold deep gratitude for what was.
In the Andes you actually salute or acknowledge the West, the direction of the setting sun, a few hours before sun set, to be able to program the rest of the day with what you want to experience! In this way, we hold on to hope, threre is still time to dance, to listen to your favourite song or to work on your innermost dreams!
I am honored to have You here, giving your time and attention to soak in some information and inspiration, and perhaps with the help of that, you get some nuggets to help you transform Your Own Life experiences into deep knowingness. Thus, sharing Your wisdom for the benefit of friends, family and community.
Thank you.
Much love to You!
Big hugs,
Monika💜
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